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9 month old not gaining weight

In When on 25 December 2010 at 1:47 pm

After initial struggles with breastfeeding, we gradually shifted from formula to breastmilk. Now at 9 months our baby is nursing well, supplementing with 4 ounces of formula, along with some solid food every day. While we are happy about this, we are concerned that she has stopped gaining weight. Should we be giving more formula?

baby-weight-9939919Having overcome struggles and established breastfeeding with considerable effort, you are very much in tune with your baby and would know if she appeared weak or not herself.  If you are in doubt, ask yourself:
– is she nursing easily and comfortably?
– do her nursing sessions end with satisfaction – does she fall asleep (she is full); latch off and start moving or babbling (no longer hungry, she moves on to other activities)?
– is she active?  alert?  curious?  responding?
– is she healthy, not falling ill too often?

If you answered yes, relax.  Now I must thank my neighbour Ruchi in Mumbai.  Years ago when I mentioned to her that random strangers would approach me in the trains and ask, “why is your child so thin??” she reminded me that being happy and healthy was a truer indicator than a number on the scale.  In fact, speaking of the scale, my daughter’s weight gain, after rising weekly since birth, abruptly halted at 8 kg, at the age of 8 months.  And she remained at 8 kg for the next 5 months.  By then her walking and talking were getting interesting and we no longer weighed weekly, or even monthly.  A number of other parents at the breastfeeding support group meetings shared similar experiences of weight plateauing after 6 months of age – partly due to increased mobility using up the calories and partly because, in their words, “genes take over.”

In short, present the food, make mealtimes joyful, and trust her to eat what she wants.  See How Children Learn to Eat.

All well and good, you say, but how can I feed my baby more calories?  Let me caution you that at some stage it is a zero sum game.  I remember one day noticing that my daughter had two bowls of పప్పన్నం (lentil-rice) and thought, hmm … good vehicle to add some oil to her diet.  The next day when I did, she ate only one bowl.  Sure, variety in the diet is always a plus, but you can’t fool mother nature.  Breastmilk is already rich in good fats – more than cow’s milk.  With the new concerns about nut-allergy, most parents wait till age 2 or 3 to introduce them.  So for younger ones, vegetarian sources of quick fat would be avocados and vegetable oils.  Hummous is an easy way to get raw olive oil (and raw garlic ) into the diet.

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My 2 year old son does not pick up his toys.

In When on 17 October 2010 at 4:13 am

My 2 year old son does not pick up his toys. Should we discipline him by taking away the toys?

I’d like to step back and find out more about these toys. Why are they there? Often we find that children are burdened with too many toys. They might take them out more to see them arrayed on the floor than to play with each one – in fact, for them, that is the play.

While it is fine to limit the toys that are available, I would not communicate to the child that this is a consequence of leaving them on the floor. When there are only a few toys, it matters less who picks them up. And when there is no stress associated with putting toys away, it is easier for children to pick up that practice.

Secondly, at that age, many children hunger for wide open spaces to run, climb trees / jungle gyms, chase frogs, play ball, dig in the sand, stomp in puddles or watch the cars go by. When they can run and climb and throw and use their outside voice to their hearts content, being inside is less frustrating. Toys are often used to “entertain” kids inside because there is no one to accompany them outside – but not all kids will accept this substitute for long.