Ask Amma

Archive for the ‘Yes / No’ Category


Was the Learning Societies Conference useful?

In Yes / No on 14 June 2011 at 3:15 pm

Please do share with us more details about the learning conference. Was it useful and would you attend it again?
– Chetana from Bangalore

Well it was a relaxing time mainly because of the company and of course the location – in the Himalayas. People were there with lots of energy and enthusiasm. To be frank the conference program was not much to write home about. Informal chats / activities on puppetry, peace, play sprung up and were quite engaging. Even when nothing sprung up, the hills, the stream, the skies, periodically dotted with paragliders, were enough to immerse oneself in. Kids had a marvelous time running around, making things out of clay, rocks, etc and one farmer was kind enough to let them harvest peas and dig a little. We also met AID Saathis Michael, Manshi and others who were part of AID in some way. We served rice cooked in the EZ Cooker too! Someone posted a video of one of the sessions, which she called Wisdom and Salt Water.

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Sleeping on his own

In Yes / No on 10 April 2011 at 6:41 am

Sleeping on his own – he needs to be fed,carried, rocked or sung to sleep. He doesn’t fall asleep on his own – is this ok? Do we need to follow some method?

Yes, it is okay. See #3. Also see Baby wants to be held.
If you need something more than simply "sleep with baby," here is Dr. Sears’ list of Sleep Facts and comparison of "methods."

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Is it okay to let him cry?

In Yes / No on 10 April 2011 at 6:40 am

Crying – is it ok to let him wail and cry when he asks for the breast or is crying harmful for him? My instinct is to pick him up when he cries but others discourage that…

Breastfeeding on demand vs on schedule – A__ can’t seem to follow a schedule and wants to be at the breast all day. At night he sleeps for 2 three hour stretches but from morning till the day is over he feeds more with only cat naps in the middle. Why is he doing this and how should I handle it?
– new mom from Palampur

Your son knows what he wants and it will only do good and certainly no harm to listen to him – think of it as a 9 month training program where he teaches you how to be his parents and you teach him about the world.. Infants need round-the-clock feeding, holding etc. If he can get his needs met without having to cry, he will have more time and energy to develop his other senses, communication skills, observation & analytical skills.

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Should I give baby vitamins?

In Yes / No on 10 April 2011 at 6:38 am

When I went to get my daughter’s check-up done, the doc said she’s not been putting enough weight and prescribed her vitamin supplement drops. I am not sure if this is necessary she’s 4months and weighs 5kgs (birthweight was 2.75kg).

– Rajitha, new mom in Mumbai

Going by the recommended weight gain of 100-200 grams per week, your daughter’s weight gain is within the expected range. If you think she needs more food, consider if you could feed her more often. Remember to switch breasts and try If she is already nursing whenever she wants, as long as she wants, then she is getting what she needs. Since your body will give priority to the baby, it is possible that you need to make sure you are getting all your nutrients. In general it is recommended that mothers continue to take prenatal vitamins & minerals for at least 2 years while breastfeeding, though of course it is (more) important to eat a balanced diet of whole grains, fresh seasonal foods.

More info:
Kelly Mom: Does my baby need vitamins?

Dr Sears: Newborn weight gain

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Can Preschoolers Be Depressed?

In Yes / No on 26 August 2010 at 8:03 pm

To share personal stories takes a great deal of courage and one must be prepared for all the comments from parents and nonparents alike.  Here I am sharing the comment I posted on the article that appeared in the New York Times, “Can Preschoolers be Depressed?” As I read the article I could not help but be reminded of Alfie Kohn and his advice – do not be in a rush, do not over-schedule – and his warning against “counting” and other supposed “disciplinary” techniques.  The photos at the top of the article seem to answer the question – yes, if they are all alone in a room full of toys.

Can Preschoolers Be Depressed?

By PAMELA PAUL
Published: August 25, 2010
  1. Comment“He always wanted to please.”
    “rarely disobeyed or acted out.”
    ” If he dawdled or didn’t listen, Raghu (also a nickname) had only to count to five before Kiran hastened to tie his shoes or put the toys away.”    Though you quote these lines approvingly at the opening of the article, I read them, particularly the last one, as clear warning signals.

    The counting technique to produce obedience, which although popular nowadays is yet another way of making a child feel inferior. Sadly, he is praised for his perfect response to it. Reading on about the Legos, Disney World, and the mother who “ferried him from one child-friendly place to the next” made me feel claustrophobic.

    The comments about the trip to his grandparents’ farm and the vacation in Spain as the happiest times in his life suggest the need for more leisure, less scheduling, less expectation and less monitoring.

    I congratulate this family for seeking help and hope their story inspires more families to give children time, space and unconditional love.